When we think about our child being non-verbal, the first thing that we are advised or we google is to visit a speech therapist or may be a doctor
What I have learnt in my experience is that speech/language issues can broadly be categorised into -
Non verbal (attention, compliance, eye contact)
Emergence of speech or vocalisation (sounds and phonics)
Build up on vocabulary (commonly used words)
Language and Communication
In this post I am going into details of #1
Non Verbal Communication
First and foremost, develop a bond and connection with your child which can speak through eyes. Understand his/her needs, calls, interests and issues.
This can only be possible when YOU are at peace and not relying on any professional to teach your child how to talk. Its a long journey to go, and it begins with a happy you and a happy child with bonds of love.
On Technical perspective now, I am listing down three broad things that we need to work upon -
Attention
Eye-contact
Compliance & Instruction following
#1 Attention
Begin With
Learn to seek your child’s attention. Use joint attention techniques like parallel play, or playing the game with family members to involve the child. A loud conversation with daddy or a small play with parent might tempt the little one to get involved.
Introduce variety of such activities that your child may like - Reading books, singing rhymes, play with a doll, sorting your kitchen vegetables , putting clothes in washing machine, packing up bags for school and going out, and other daily chores, etc.
Observe your child’s interest areas. Don’t force anything and try to do things that he likes the most.
Play games like - Simon Says, Copy Cat. You will get a lot of ideas on the internet. If your child is not playing wit you yet, imitate the play in front of him.
START - Once you achieve some attention span (1 - 2 mins is also good) introduce table top activities like - blocks, picture puzzles (boards to fix images to), or toys.
STOP - Do not hook your child to gadgets to make him sit. Try not to use TV or any other devices that cause distractions for you or for him.
!! Cut down on sugar in all possible forms
#2 Eye Contact
Begin With
Plan some activities that you can do for 2 minutes, 10 times in a day. e.g. singing rhymes that your child likes and gives you an eye contact when you sing it and dance in front of him/her.
When your child is expressive in terms of smile, laughter, cry or a sad face. Look back and try to converse with an expressive face. Try to make it evident that you are understanding.
Participate in his odd plays also, do not try to stop or resist but use every opportunity to establish a connect.
Imitate your child so that he learns this art. Later, when your child imitates you, we will use this as a tool to teach everything that we want
START - When your child gives you an eye contact… REWARD with a clap or their favourite toy etc.
STOP - Don’t burden your child with lot of words, it stresses him as he doesn’t understand your language yet.
#3 Compliance & Instruction following
Begin With
Deal with a lot of love and patience. What worked for us is ‘Play Therapy’ which we got introduced by Dr. Anjali Joshi (OT, Mumbai).
She guided us to teach everything in a play way, and not inducing any pressure or stress on the child. e.g. If you child loves to play with cars, you may start playing games to take turns and create a small game / song around it.
START - Set rules for yourself. Do not have high expectations as of now. This will take time and will eventually come to point where you will start seeing noticeable changes. You should know that your child is listening to everything that you say or express. So please be positive only.
STOP - Forcing your child into anything. Keep switching with him for his likes and keep finding moments to get involved. DO NOT shout, hit or use any strong words in front of your child as this would cause more damage. Only love, play and happiness can open the doors for you.
INTRODUCE - This is the best time to introduce Visual Pictur Cards for communication. We printed almost every daily use items’ picture that the child gets involved in. Like, washroom activities (brush, bathing), food items, toys, schedule (play time, sleeping, swing).
These picture cards should be placed such that they are visible and in handy range of your child at all times (We used blue tac to stick the picture cards on walls, doors, window panes and even on the head board of our bed)
How To Start Off with Visual Cards?
Start with two picture cards which could be your child’s favourite toys. Teach by action and showing that he would get the toy only when he brings that picture to you. Your child should not get these two toys unless he hands over the picture to you, only then he would understand this as a practice
I will describe how I made use of Visual cards and moved with building communication